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The question of what makes a healthy couple has been the subject of much research, writing, and theorizing. Through her years of experience as a couple therapist, Dr. Ellen Wachtel has come up with the seven qualities that she believes make for the kind of relationship we all strive for, or wish we had. The following seven tips have been adapted from Wachtel's book, The Heart of Couple Therapy: Knowing What to Do and How to Do It. Tip
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: Aim to make your partner feel good about themselves. It's not the responsibility of one partner to build up the other's low self-esteem or lack of self-worth, but for those with a generally healthy sense of self it's important to engage in behaviors that build one another up. Being mindful of how often you're criticizing your partner, and aiming instead to engage in positive reinforcement and authentic compliments can go a long way. Criticism is likely to slip out every so often, but it shouldn't be the dominant form of feedback you're giving or